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Old 02-08-2010, 09:40 PM
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Nathan Nathan is offline
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Default New Forum Category - The Lighter Side

New Forum Category - The Lighter Side

Brethren,

I had been thinking about putting this category up, but I forgot.

So here it is!

This will be a forum area to place jokes, humor, and things that feel good from the lighter point of view.

Think warm Hallmark stories, or funny readers digest stories and humor.

This is your place to relax.

Please keep it clean. Nothing obscene or borderline obscene. And I think that as adults, we all know what that means.

God bless and enjoy,

Nathan
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"For thus hath the Lord said unto me, Go, set a watchman, let him declare what he seeth." Isaiah 21:6
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Old 02-09-2010, 08:59 PM
bixbite bixbite is offline
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Here is some of the humor my co-workers are subjected to:

I work outdoors and get to see a lot of stuff including things in the sky. We saw two large Chinook helicopters flying near the top of Pike's Peak mountain. The crews were practicing for deplyment to Afghanistan. The conversation naturally turned to helicopters. Smeone mentioned the Russian attack helicopters which were shown on "Red Dawn" and in one of the Rambo movies. It is called the "Hind".
I mentioned that the Russians outfitted one with stinger missiles. It is called the "Bee-Hind".

Sometimes when a soldier comes to my gate and asks me "How is it going?" I respond with a look of utter terror on my face and say, "I am authorized to say that everything is OK".

When a soldier with Minnesota plates on his car comes to my gate I say, "Welcome to Fort Carson, the land of two ponds".

There is much much more. I can't make it stop.

I just remembered this one:

When a soldier comes to my gate with a Fort Knox decal I ask them if they know why you can't buy high octane gasoline there. The answer is "Then there would be "No Knox" (No Knocks)

Last edited by bixbite; 02-09-2010 at 09:19 PM. Reason: adden pun
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Old 02-26-2010, 06:08 PM
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little flock little flock is offline
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Thank you Nathan



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Old 08-01-2011, 10:38 AM
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seekerman seekerman is offline
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Thank Nathan. Hers one i heard online. A man dies and is bound for heaven, but when he gets there he is carrying a suitcase. The keeper of the gate (peter i guess) ask him why he brought a suitcase, the man replied the big guy said i could. Peter goes away comes back and says OK you can bring it in, but first we need to open it. Peter open the case and starts laughing, shakes his head and says to the man you brought pavement. The suitcase was full of Gold.
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Old 08-01-2011, 10:47 PM
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Millum Millum is offline
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Default A Blonde And Her Thermos ...

A blonde comes to work one day, and sees that her co-worker has a metal cylindrical object. "What's that," she asked.

Her co-worker said "it's a Thermos".

"What's it do", asked the blonde. "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold" was the reply.

"Neat," said the blonde. "I'll have to get one of those."

A few days later she has a bright pink new Thermos sitting prominently on her desk. Her boss comes by, notices it and says "oh, I see you have a new addition to your desk."

The blonde perked up and said proudly "it's a Thermos. It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold."

"What do you have in it," asked the boss.

"Coffee and a popsicle" was the reply.
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Old 08-01-2011, 10:49 PM
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Millum Millum is offline
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"The healthcare debate is getting ugly.
Today, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi and House Minority Leader John Boehner got into such a heated argument that Boehner missed his appointment at the tanning salon and Pelosi was late for Botox injections."
–Jay Leno
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Old 06-21-2014, 05:10 PM
Horsefeathers Horsefeathers is offline
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Default A Little Bit of Humor

“I don’t think we get smarter as we get older. I just think we run out of stupid things to do…”



“Next time you go on a roller coaster ride, take some spare bolts with you and tell the people in front of you, ‘Excuse me, these came off the back of your seat!’”



AMAZING , SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES



Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold the vegetables while you chop.



Avoid arguments with the females about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink.



If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives; then you’ll be afraid to cough.



You need only two tools if life- WD-40 and DUCT TAPE. If it doesn’t move and should , use the WD-40. If it shouldn’t move and does, use the DUCT TAPE.



If you can’t fix it with a hammer, you’ve got an electrical problem.
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Old 10-18-2015, 04:13 PM
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gypsygirl gypsygirl is offline
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A young lady dies and is standing at the gates of heaven. An angel told her the only way she could enter the gates is if she could say the Lord's name. She says "that's easy, it's Andy". "Andy?", asks the angel. "Yes" she said and started singing "Andy walks with me, Andy talks with me.......
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Old 10-18-2015, 04:40 PM
Horsefeathers Horsefeathers is offline
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Good one!
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  #10  
Old 12-27-2015, 07:46 AM
Carl & Deb Carl & Deb is offline
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Horsefeathers, in reference to your quote : “I don’t think we get smarter as we get older. I just think we run out of stupid things to do…” I think you must be a little behind the curve. I'm 67 and I still haven't run out of stupid things to do. Ask my wife.
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